Not to be outdone by Lemon's 7 mile death march at the Mostly Gay hash last weekend, Rectal Ranger laid a 6.whattheflock trail Saturday. It actually was a really nice trail except for that part down Sandy Run in the 70 mph traffic and the last part from the 2nd beer check to the end. To the hare's credit, the pack only got misplaced (not lost) once and there were multiple beer checks and lots of dirt, RR tracks, and woods. Oh yeah, uhm, crossing the swamp on the railroad bridge is really cool until someone dies. Those who are really brave could just lie between the rails until the train passes but most will probably fling themselves down the embankment and into the swamp. Oh yeah, and one other clue, if you run AWAY from the train, it won't get to you as fast. However, keep in mind that it is doing about 45 mph so even if you're Carl Lewis, it is going to catch you. There were also a couple boob checks on trail and I did see quite a few nipples. Some of the ladies complained that there were no package checks on trail (unlike another hash that complained because there was one)...but hey, that's what you get with a male, well sorta, hare. Leaving the 2nd beer check, Franken was heard to remark, "I've done this much of this damn thing, I may as well do the rest of it." I don't think anyone else had a better reason for leaving that beer check.

We had a nice crowd of 12 or 20 or 50...somewhere in there (18 maybe?). We also had 2 virgins. Nothing to get excited about, they were both guys. They slipped away from the pack once on trail to have a private moment in the woods...not sure what that was about. All Y'all Cum Eat brought them, I think, and I'm pretty sure they caused her to be damned intoxicated before the circle was over. Flipher drank for being FBI and FRB (she was Whoa'ing the beer stops and Lemon'ing the checks). Cheaper drank for his 145th 100th. Jungle drank for violating the hash mantle on more than one occasion. Side note, it is very refreshing to tea-bag all the cold beverages they put in that plunger. We had a couple guests from Albany, Pink and Die Bitch Die...and it was a good thing too as we ran out of songs and they helped us out. We had a couple first timers, Tick Dick (Hung like a tic-tac?) and Just Hot Chic with Bra showing (okay, I don't remember her name). What do you want from me? People drank for auto-hashing after they got into the beer wagon at the first beer stop (they were the smart ones). I wanted to rename someone who wasn't even there. DrawfD managed to fall out of a chair that has immobile legs. BTFT was looking hot but we couldn't get her naked in circle. I remember Doc smacking me for saying, "hush, men are talking." Anyway, after a bazzillion down-downs, circle was closed.

Our hero, Banana Slit, manned the grill generously provided by our hare. Our other heros, Bona and AYCE, went on a beer run...cause I remember getting money out of the shiney paw-paw truck. Oh we decided that Jungle's ride would definitely fit in the bed of the paw-paw truck as long as we left the tailgate down. After burgers and dogs, a ferocious game of beer pong broke out. Multiple people went in the house and took showers (not as many showers as people who went to take them though...hmm). Hey, why does Hurls keep a 2 million candle power spot-light in his bedroom anyway? Oh, and Hurls, I'm really sorry for where ever I left it cause I know I didn't put it away. The hangers-on also did a couple laps around the porch nekkid in honor of midnight nekkid runs everywhere. In the end, the hangers-on all left in order to give Rectal and Dwarf-dick a moment of privacy...and there was much rejoicing.

Special thanks again to Banana for hauling our drunk asses around and to our visitors from Albany. They are hashing on Friday evening this week btw. Check their site at
http://pecancityh3.tripod.com/index.html or their Yahoo group.

On-on to the next beer check...sorry for all those events I didn't include because the beer MADE me forget.

Your Hash Scribe who is so cool he refers to himself in the third person,

Hasta