November 20, 2004 - Ramada Inn

Clouds filled the sky, and the ground was soggy. But alas, soggy earth and the threat of rain was not enough to keep a pack of fourteen hounds away from chasing after our two hares for the afternoon, Two Breasts Knocking and Frank-n-fucker. We were even joined by two first-timers to our hash, Hasta Buyit and Taint Tickler. At approximately 3:38 PM on that fateful day, out went the hares, and our venerable (or is it venereal?) GM led the pack in a Father Abraham for a warmup. Conflicting reports abound, but it is said that the GM then led the pack on-out before the designated lead time for the hare was up! This, combined with the fact that TBK was walking, resulted in two hare snares during the course of the trail.

The pack began to scout out the trail, searching high, low, right and left for markings and any other clues that might suggest which way to go. After a very short period of time, the pack came across a Turkey-Eagle split. While most of the pack followed the eagle trail into the deep, dreary, rusted out, goblin, frog, and snake infested tunnels in the bowels of Warner Robins, a few of us chose to take the turkey. Lucky us, we followed trail down into a drainage ditch and underneath a footbridge, only to find that we were supposed to climb up the other side of the steep concrete thing-ay. Taint Tickler had no problem scaling the incline on his own, while NNWendy and I had to push and pull eachother up into the grass - something we had to demonstrate for the sake of the harriers later, might I add!

A BC was finally, and most graciously, provided at the point where the two trails rejoined eachother. Unfortunately, the cooler had been placed just off the trail into the woods, and a number of hounds failed to notice the sweet nectar awaiting them. The chase continued, and not long thereafter a number of FRBs led some unwitting DFLs through a sizeable patch of shiggy, only to find that they'd been YBF'ed! OMG, WTF, how many more acronyms can I throw into this paragraph?! Fortunately, the shiggy was willing to give souvenirs, which we gladly carried with us throughout the rest of the trail (except for the one that got stuck onto NNWendy's butt), which went rather smoothly once the true trail was finally found.

In time, all made it into the circle with little more than a couple of scratches and scrapes. Accusations were made for this and that, and that and this, and much nectar was consumed. And then, the fun began, as there were three eligible for namings on this fine day! NNOldie declined to be named, unfortunately, as he said he would rather be named by MGH4 since we have so much dirt on him (a great bit of it on video, including something about asking drag queen hookers for sex in bathroom stalls and getting a couple of nasty growths after an experience with the glory hole). NNNick and NNWendy were brave, bold, and daring, however, and faced the group for interrogation. It was discovered that NNWendy has a particular love for battery powered monkeys, and that NNNick had made out with my dog the previous evening. One at a time, the unnamed were ejected from the circle for deliberations. Many names were given, accusations made, and stories told, but at the end of the day, two christenings did occur. Thus, here and forevermore, NNWendy shall be referred to as none other than Banana Slit, and NNNick shall be called Yipe Yipe Yipe. Following such a spectacular naming ceremony, there was MUCH rejoicing and more nectar consumed. Those members of the pack with more than a few pennies and a pocketful of lint then gathered at Logan's for what I can only assume was a pretty damn good on-after.

Cheers to TBK and Frank-n-Fucker for laying a beautiful trail and providing us with a day of hashing that old "G" would have been proud of, for truly the trail did provide us all with much exercise, and we did indeed work up a good thirst that was quenched as we celebrated at the end.

Expect even more excitement and debauchery to ensue at our next trail, which shall take place on December 11 and will be hared by none other than myself! Also, expect hash erections, as we seek to fill the deep dark hole (or was it a void) created by the need for a more permanent beermeister, a haberdasher, and some other things that I can't remember by now. Damn you, Cheaper, for allowing your senility to rub off on me! I'm sure the vacancies can be found on the mis-management page, so go ahead and check that out. Don't forget, we're also looking for hares!

See you next time and ON-ON!

Cunt-N-Munch